One experience that is common in early childhood is the move from one school, or one class, to another. This transition is often glossed over as classrooms end the school year with parties and other special activities. However, focusing solely on the celebratory aspects of moving on leaves children to work out their mixed feelings about saying good-bye on their own. At the Lucy Daniels Center, we prepare children for leaving by acknowledging and talking about the many feelings that may surface when leaving a classroom (including relationships and shared experiences) to move on to a new school or class. Such feelings include worries about the new teachers and peers, sadness about the loss of familiar comforts (teachers, peers, and routines) and sometimes even anger about having to do something (move on) that they just don't want to do. Mixed into all of this are also feelings of pride and accomplishment about growing older and excitement about the new experiences ahead. This is a lot for a child to process on his or her own!
The Center has an article on this very topic: Saying Good-Bye to a Teacher. Below are some excerpts from this article:
"Why goodbyes are important: Life is filled with leave-takings that come in many forms. Some are temporary, such as leaving mother or father to go to school or ending a visit with grandmother. Others are more permanent, such as losing a treasured toy or the death of a pet.
Goodbyes bring up feelings that vary, depending on the meaning of the particular loss to the child. Children are not just sad. Sometimes they also are angry or anxious -- all natural reactions to having to say goodbye. Because life is filled with goodbyes, children must develop mental muscles to cope with them in an emotionally healthy manner.
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This is sad, and it is natural for Daniel to be a bit angry about the inevitabilities of life that he wishes were not so. Therefore, as you accentuate the positive — Daniel’s capabilities, growth, the fine teacher awaiting him — it also is important to acknowledge that Mrs. Smith cannot be replaced, his loss hurts, and you are there for him with a hug.
Daniel’s inevitable times of discontent about life are opportunities. Childhood is when a child learns not just the ABCs of reading, but also the ABCs of tolerating, bearing and moving beyond difficult emotions. Saying goodbye to a teacher provides the opportunity for children to deal with emotions that are real, meaningful and, unless there are special circumstances, within their capacity to master.
Some children make it clear that they will miss their teacher. Others go on as if it is no big deal, or even irrelevant. Don’t be fooled if Daniel acts unfazed. Most often, children who act unconcerned are wary of their feelings and need your help to question their self-protections. Be tactful and gentle if Daniel is that kind of child. Just raise the idea occasionally that Daniel and Mrs. Smith have done so much together, she is such a kind person, and it is hard to say goodbye to someone like that. Daniel might well protest, and if he does, just let it be. You have planted a seed, and you can continue to plant such seeds from time to time. Well-planted seeds will germinate — slowly."
Read the full article here: Saying Good-Bye to a Teacher.
Joint Attention and Reading Together
What is joint attention? Joint attention is a form of communication where two or more people are paying attention to the same thing, sharing the experience of an object, idea, observation, or event with gestures and gazes. This type of communication is essential to language development, social interaction, and cognitive development. Joint attention greatly enhances learning experiences, and reading together with a child creates a perfect opportunity for joint attention. When sharing a book, a parent might smile at a picture, point to an object, express surprise at a turn of events, or simply turn the pages, and a young child will likely do the same. In the same way, a parent may laugh with a child as she finds delight in a book, or may point to particular parts of a picture that the child seems to studying. This reciprocal interaction is an important step in social development!
Read more about joint attention and social competence
http://scienceblogs.com/cognitivedaily/2008/07/joint_attention_and_social_com.
Wemberly Worried (Kevin Henkes) and Just in Case (Judith Viorst) both explore the topic of children's worries in an engaging way. Both of these books are read often in classrooms at the Lucy Daniels Center. Why do children want to listen to stories again and again about characters feeling worried? In this week's post, we'll discuss how reading about characters with worries can help children to understand and feel more comfortable with their own.
Wemberly Worried is a story about a little mouse girl who worries about many things, some of which could happen and some of which would never happen. Similarly, Charlie, the main character in Just in Case, worries about all sorts of scenarios and has a back-up plan for each one because he "likes to be prepared." Both of these characters can do something very important for a child: they let a child know that he or she is not the only one with worries. That in itself can be very reassuring! Hearing the characters talk about the things that worry them, as outlandish as some of their worries may seem, help children to understand that all boys and girls have thoughts that trouble them at times, and that there are ways to overcome them when they feel real and strong.
When we read books like these in the classroom, we often pause and help the children make meaningful connections to their own lives. For example, when Wemberly checks on her parents in the middle of the night to be sure they are still there, we pause and ask, "Oh, that kind of nighttime worry... Do you ever feel like you just need to check?" When Charlie has a plan just in case a bird swoops him up on his way to school, we esteem his good thinking: "Oh, look, he even has a plan just in case a bird swoops him up on his way to school. Good for Charlie, he knows how to help himself feel safe on his way to school - and his worry is not stopping him from doing what he needs to do!"
Worries are a natural part of being human. Worries can become problematic when they impede upon a child's ability to carry out developmentally appropriate tasks and routines and disrupt everyday life. For more information on childhood anxiety, take a look at the following Center articles:
Building Mental Muscles to Overcome Childhood Anxieties
How Can I Help My Anxious Child?
When to Seek Professional Mental Health Help
